"What needs to be determined is where does the couple stand the greatest chance of earning each other’s respect"
Living in Eretz Yisrael is special. The commitment and mesirus nefesh for Torah exhibited by the people that live there and their n’shei chayil is unique, and exposure to this hashakfah can be life- changing. It builds a strong foundation that lasts long after moving back.
But it isn’t for everyone. Living in Eretz Yisrael presents its own set of challenges. The culture is difficult for an American to get used to — there’s the language barrier and bureaucratic issues — and the couple may be living in a cramped apartment with no air-conditioning and no car.
We need to be honest with our limitations, and a couple needs to be realistic about what they can handle. If someone feels they need a certain degree of comfort that can only be found in chutz l’Aretz to allow them to function best, they should accept that. Avodah b’simchah v’tuv lev override what can be gained from living in Eretz Yisrael. Especially for the women.
If you’re up for it, there’s nothing like it. But if you’ll shteig most in America, maybe that’s the right place, and if you feel you’ll grow most in Eretz Yisrael, then maybe that’s the right thing. The determining question is where you will serve Hashem best.
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