It seems to come as naturally to Jewish women as gefilte fish and chicken soup. But unlike gefilte fish and chicken soup, guilt isn’t always wholesome or appetizing.How to distinguish between constructive and destructive guilt
As Shoshana Siegelman, social worker and teacher, of Kesher Counseling, points out, women are particularly challenged in this area, because there’s no inherent limit to our job. We can never feel “finished,” since there’s always more we can do: for our children, for our homes, for our communities, and for our own spirituality.
Guilt can be debilitating. On the other hand, as Rabbi Emanuel Feldman has put it, a “guilt-edged conscience” can be a positive and powerful tool for growth. How can we differentiate between the two types of guilt? And once we do, how can we conquer the negative type?
When I called Shalom Francis, LCSW, to ask my questions about guilt, he asked, “How do you define guilt?”
I was stymied. Guilt is … well, guilt is a feeling, I thought. Can it actually be defined? Unable to respond, I resorted to the journalist’s old trick; I turned the question back around to him. “How would you define guilt?” I asked.
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