The Gold Standard    

I only recognized the cost of all that awesomeness when a local publication pointed out that while pink plastic tablecloths used to be ubiquitous at a baby girl’s kiddush, now beautiful linens and tablescapes are expected, because fancy decor is no longer only the province of the wealthy who can afford party planners.

From upsherens to weddings to mishloach manos, from baby clothes to sheitlach, from simple suppers to the meat board, every area of frum life has upped the ante. Cheap manufacturing has brought goodies our parents never dreamed of right to our doorsteps, and a veritable explosion of Jewish creativity and entrepreneurship has opened us up to new possibilities in food, fashion, hospitality, and decor. In case you weren’t sure, lavish advertising and social media offer copious proof that everyone (or at least everyone who is clearly more in the know than you) has jumped on the lifestyle bandwagon.

Do you remember when it used to be a thing that children of klei kodesh families were more simply dressed than their counterparts whose fathers were professionals? Today, thankfully, society recognizes the tremendous value rebbeim provide, and the material sacrifices they make, so myriad organizations compensate klei kodesh families for their mesirus nefesh. Children of rebbeim get European shoes at cost price, other organizations provide yungeleit with matching current-season outfits, and still others provide discounts to help these families make Yom Tov. All of these well-intentioned gestures help offset the tight salaries our klei kodesh manage with, and that’s a good thing.

My concern, though, is about what this does to our communal standards. It was once okay to be a have-not — even if the kids, and maybe the parents, didn’t love it, it was a fact of life, and we all learned to live with it. We thought about how much time, headspace, and money we were willing to devote to the pursuit of stuff, and we made our choices.