The Guy in the Back

Yes, that’s the guy who gets overlooked all too often by society at large, viewed by some as a “nobody” or a “recluse.” But that’s the guy I want in my corner when it’s all on the line, because he most likely provides the most core value and stability. The “introvert” might as well be called the “underrated.”

The first time I began to think about this topic was when one of my dear children was in first grade, and I got a call from his rebbi.

“I love this child, just like all your other children, but I’m very concerned about him,” he said. I nervously asked what bothered him. He said, “Scholastically he’s great, and his middos are wonderful. But he’s often alone during recess, while his peers are running around in a group game.”

That night, I began a concerted effort to push my child to join in the class fun during recess, and after some cajoling, he began to respond and became more involved. However, after I spent some time reflecting on this, I started to question my approach. Is it wrong for a child to be a quiet person, introverted, and shy? Is this really a flaw that needs to be “rectified”?