The Hidden Journey

“You look so Jewish,” people said. “There’s no need for anyone to know that you were ever not Jewish.” And, in some cases, they added, “It wouldn’t be good for people to know.”

So that’s what I did for years. I became adept at answering small talk questions in a vague enough way that most people would just (hopefully) assume that I was a baalas teshuvah.

But not only did it feel uncomfortable with misleading people, the pressure to protect my secret came with additional complications. How could I develop real friendships if I was unable to share fundamental parts of my life? And what was I meant to do with my parents when they came to visit?

I didn’t like it, but it was the advice I’d been given, so I followed it.