O
ver the past decade when the calendar turned to Tu B’Av known as the Yom Tov of shidduchim multiple articles have appeared (many by this author) on the painful and heartrending topic of older singles.
Who can possibly forget the heartfelt hesped that the Telsher Rosh Yeshivah Rav Chaim Stein ztz”l gave at the levayah of his son when he cried out “Fargess nisht alleh Yiddishe techter vos darfen hoben zivugim [Please do not forget all the Jewish daughters who need a shidduch]. Gei tzu Kisei Hakavod uhn zug ‘Kra ro’a gezar dineinu’ [Go up to the Heavenly Throne and plead ‘Rip up the terrible decree’].” The Rosh Yeshivah tearfully repeated this sentence three times before concluding the hesped.
Why does this gezeirah exist? The venerable mashgiach Rav Moshe Wolfson shlita explains: Chazal imply that just as Adam had to recover his lost rib by marrying Chavah the normal state of affairs in the world is that a boy must search for a girl. However when there is a kitrug a Heavenly accusation then unnatural forces disrupt the natural course of events. There is a tremendous kitrug on Klal Yisrael today both here and in Eretz Yisrael in all of our kehillos and it must come to an end.
Much ink has been spilled over the years on how to remove this kitrug. We’ve all heard the pleas of the gedolim and leading askanim that all of us should work on at least one shidduch every single day. We’ve often quoted the insight of the Maharsha (on Shabbos 10a) on one of the questions asked of each individual in the Olam Haemes “Asakta ba’piryah va’ribiah? [Did you pursue the mitzvah of bringing children into the world?]” which he explains as “Did you involve yourself in shidduchim in your time in this world?”
