Thinking Thanks Is Not Enough 

T

his past week I opened my computer to see the homework assignment my son’s rebbi emails every afternoon. After finishing the homework with my son and reflecting on how helpful the daily homework email is, I wrote the following short and simple email to the rebbi: Thanks! I just want to share that it’s extremely helpful to me that you send this email daily. Much appreciated, yasher koach, MW.

While I didn’t think much of the email I wrote, the rebbi did. I was stunned to read the rebbi’s reply, which has been reverberating in my mind ever since: Thank you very much for that feedback. I think you’re the second one in 17 years (since class emails were invented) to express appreciation and feedback about how helpful emails are.

I was astonished by the rebbi’s response. Has he only received two thank-yous for his hard work in crafting these emails over 17 years? Do parents not appreciate how helpful these daily emails are? How do parents not notice the time and effort the rebbi takes to produce these emails day in and day out? Does anyone realize that not every rebbi does this?

As I took the time to digest the email, it hit me that hakaras hatov (expressing thanks) is one of the hardest areas for us. Do we thank someone who holds the door open for us as we rush to get indoors on a frigid winter day? Do we thank the cashier who rings up our order at the grocery store? Or are we too busy on our AirPods to even acknowledge him? Do we thank the mailman, Amazon driver, or Uber Eats delivery person? Or do we not even notice that a human being is at our door? Do we thank the people in shul who set up kiddush week in, and week out? Do we ever thank the rebbeim, morahs, or teachers for their incredible efforts in teaching our children?