We think we feel too little; we actually feel too much
Barrier Two: Too Empty, Too Full, Generally Closed
It’s one thing if I have the opportunity to go to the Kosel or Kever Rachel, and cry and talk and say Tehillim for three hours. When I’ve done that, I’m often left with an incredible uplift. Everything inside washed away and a good kind of emptiness — like I’m an open vessel, waiting for renewal. It’s beautiful and uplifting.
But in daily life, with limited time and concentration, I don’t get anywhere near that place. As a matter of fact, most times I open my siddur and don’t feel anything at all. I daven because it’s a habit — a good kind of habit, because I believe that if I keep doing it, I’ll be able to generate some meaning sometimes
Some days, I close my siddur feeling like I missed out on something precious; other days, I just feel apathetic. I’d love to take everything that’s going on inside of me and translate it into words of prayer. I just don’t know how.
Most times, when our hearts feel empty, they’re not empty at all. They’re too full. They’re so full that there’s a blockage. We’re stuck. We don’t know how to go about thawing what’s inside, effecting movement and release.
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