Unprecedented

It was a pivotal moment — and they felt lost, uncertain. They’d never been there before, had no experience to draw from. And neither had their usual mentors. Now what?

Five women share their experience navigating these uncharted waters.

Fitting Precedence

Sarah Moses Spero

I’m not sure there is anything more unprecedented than a Holocaust survivor who is marrying off their own child. Two Holocaust survivors married to each other and doing the same? A double victory.

My parents didn’t speak of their wartime experiences other than the whispered slip of a tongue or a runaway comment. We knew that my father was carried out of Auschwitz (half dead) in a wheelbarrow and my mother was in three different work camps. It’s not just that my parents didn’t speak of their experiences. We knew, from a very young age, not to ask.

Their own wedding took place in Europe (before they eventually crossed the Atlantic) and was celebrated with other survivors, my mother wearing a borrowed dress that many of the other young women wore, altered to fit each individual bride. I’m almost certain there was no smorg. Actually, I’m not even sure there was a wedding meal.

Each was the sole survivor of their immediate family. No grandparents, mothers, fathers, siblings, aunts or uncles, though my mother did have a few of her first cousins who survived — some with brothers and sisters of their own.