What’s Really Holding You Back?

R 

ecently, I’ve been dating a boy who I’ve come to really respect and admire. We’ve discussed many different topics and have found each other to be on the same page hashkafically. An engagement isn’t imminent, but it’s clear to both of us that things are serious.

One thing that brings us together is the similarities between our families. We both have parents in chinuch, and our lifestyles are simple. It’s clear to me that this boy appreciates such a lifestyle and puts no value on material things. I cannot say the same thing about myself. Although I’m not obsessive by any means, I definitely have an attraction to nicer and more expensive items. Although my parents don’t support it, I use my own savings to purchase the latest style clothing as well as designer shoes and accessories.

Now I feel stumped. Do I have an obligation to reveal this tendency of mine to the boy when I know he will clearly not appreciate it? I’m afraid that if he knows, he’ll drop the shidduch altogether, as it goes against his whole mehus (being). Is it better that I leave it unmentioned and wait until after we are married for him to realize on his own?

But I always learned that the most important thing between a couple is trust. By withholding this information, am I asking for trouble and starting the relationship on the wrong foot?