“I’m 21 and Have Zero Interest in Getting Married”

I

know this might sound kind of weird, but I really need help figuring this out. Basically, I don’t want to date. I’m 21 years old and have zero interest in getting married. I’m the oldest girl in a family of nine and have always been my mother’s “right hand.”

When I was younger, it was great being told how helpful I was and that my mother “wouldn’t be able to manage without me.” It made me feel proud of myself, and I definitely gained a lot of life skills in the process, which I’m grateful for. But at some point, I became pretty resentful, and, honestly, I’m burnt out. I’m in no rush to jump into a life of dinners and dishes and diapers. I already raised my mother’s family; I currently have little desire to raise another one.

I know this is a terrible attitude, and I’m kind of ashamed of myself. But I want a break. I would like to have some fun and enjoy my life before I jump into more responsibility. I don’t know how to discuss this with my parents without hurting them. But I’m also aware that I’m sabotaging my dating experience because I’m not ready. Help!

Burnt Out

Dear Burnt Out,

Thank you for your candor and for speaking on behalf of many women in your situation. I’m so grateful that you’re aware enough to recognize where your sabotage is coming from. It feels like half the work is done.