When Roles Reverse 

Your aging parents can no longer take care of themselves. Should you move them into a nursing home, hire an aide, or care for them at home? How can you avoid disputes between your siblings about your parents’ care? How can you prevent an ailing parent from driving when they insist they’re fine? Here, helpful answers to tough questions, plus powerful stories

“What will it take for you to stop driving?” Kaila Roth asked her elderly father. “A car accident, G-d forbid?”

Her father, Shalom, looked annoyed. “I don’t tell you to stop driving.”

“Your father’s fine, Kaila,” her mother, Judy, added, patting her husband’s arm. “I’ll know when he needs to stop.”

Kaila sighed. Her father was 90, her mother 85. Her father’s reflexes were slowing down and he wasn’t hearing well, but her parents were carrying on as if nothing had changed. Her father, the last Democrat in the shul, loved arguing against the Republican congregants who would roast his politics, and he was equally strong-minded when it came to deciding what he could or couldn’t do.