TORAH → FUNDAMENTALS Issue 1029 · September 18, 2024

Why We All Need a Hard (and a Soft) Heart

Why Elul needs a hard heart — and a soft one

Why We All Need a Hard (and a Soft) Heart

A hard heart, on the other hand, is harsh and unforgiving — like a hard pillow that no matter how much you thump and bump it, just sits there impermeable and stuffed with itself — as if you don’t even exist.

“I will switch your heart of stone to a heart of flesh,” promises Yechezkel Hanavi. (Yechezkel 36:26) Unlike a stone heart — uncaring, unreachable, impenetrable, hard, and obtuse — a heart of flesh is open, permeable, and responsive. Indeed, the Hebrew word for flesh, “basar,” shares a root with the word l’vaser — “to inform or let know”: our fleshy skin constantly interacts with the environment and “lets us know” if something is hot or cold, prickly or cuddly. (Paraphrased from Rav Samson Raphael Hirsch.)

But is a soft (responsive, open, vulnerable) heart always good?

Clearly, the answer is no. A soft heart may be what is needed in a relationship — openness and responsiveness are what turns monologue into a dialogue. But sometimes the goal is not relationship, but action. When we need to battle, overcome, conquer, accomplish… a soft heart can be a real deficit. Battle takes resolve, commitment, and single-minded focus; opening yourself up to feelings, doubts, and second opinions will just knock you off course.

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