On January 1, thousands of Jewish men will dance in joyous celebration of the completion of Talmud Bavli. But they couldn’t have done it without the equal devotion of their wives
I try to cajole Mrs. Elefant into sharing details with me of the extra efforts she had to expend when her four children, all of whom are now married, were small so that her husband could give over the daf, but to no avail. She tells me only that despite the time commitments of the daf and a job where emergencies can often arise, her husband was a very involved parent. If asked to picture their father, her children would describe him sitting and learning in his makom kavua in the house.
“We figured out how to make it work,” says Mrs. Elefant.” My husband wakes up very, very early, so he needs to go to sleep early, as well. When we go to weddings, we need to factor that in.”
Rabbi Elefant, on the other hand, is more expansive when it comes to discussing his wife’s contributions. “The shiur wasn’t just another child in our house, the shiur was the child that got the most attention,” says Rabbi Elefant. “I can honestly say that if not for my wife I could never have done any of this.”
He notes that those who give the daf yomi shiur are often lauded for their efforts, a pat on the back their wives rarely receive. “When I go places, people know me,” observes Rabbi Elefant. “They recognize my voice, my face, and my shiurim. When my wife goes places, she’s just Mrs. Elefant. Our wives typically sit quietly when we get those compliments, but the truth is, that they are as much a part of this as we are. It’s my wife who’s the real hero.”
The importance of the role that women play in the daf yomi program is not lost on anyone at Agudath Israel of America. A full 19,792 of the approximately 90,000 seats at MetLife Stadium will be designated for women at the upcoming global siyum, with seating for an extra 3,000 women available in the stadium’s premium suites. Organizers of the Siyum HaShas said that numerous daf yomi shiurim are sponsoring premium seats for the wives of those who give over the daily daf as a way of expressing their hakaras hatov to these n’shei chayil.
Rabbi Labish Becker, executive director of the Agudah, quotes the words of Rabbi Akiva who told his talmidim that the Torah that both he and they learned truly belonged to his wife Rachel. Similarly, notes Rabbi Becker, wives of those who immerse themselves in the daf yomi are the lifeblood of the program.
“By encouraging their husbands, giving them the time to learn, and sacrificing for, or supporting and motivating them, these women are continuing the long legacy of nashim tzidkaniyos who have sustained Klal Yisrael for generations,” says Rabbi Becker. “This is a true partnership, and without their efforts, daf yomi as we know it simply wouldn’t exist.”
(Originally featured in Family First, Issue 661)
