Awash in questions, drowning in doubt, we're still cherished
It’s a game so many of us play: A good Shemoneh Esreh means we’re doing okay. Lashon hara slips out, and suddenly we plunge down in the Divine approval ratings. A tragedy occurs, and we cower from what we perceive as Hashem’s displeasure.
It’s like we’re constantly enduring the turbulence of shanah rishonah, unsure of how deeply we’re loved — and whether or not we’ve earned or deserve that love. It’s depleting and leaves us confused.
And now, Rosh Hashanah is over. We might have had lofty thoughts when we heard the shofar, but now we’re busy with Vidui, reciting a litany of our faults and wrongdoings. As we enter a new year, so desperately in need of Hashem’s rachamim and yet so conscious of our shortcomings, we can feel helpless. Are we really free to find Hashem? And if so, how do we go about it?
Finding Hashem is the agenda of Yom Kippur. It’s also the focus in the story of Yonah, which we read at Minchah. Let’s follow his journey and find its reflection in our own lives.
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