Compliments for Dummies

“Chaim” was a thirty-something turbo-charged real estate developer with a posh home in an upscale neighborhood. All his children were doing well in school. And he had no health issues on his plate. Why, I wondered to myself a few minutes into our initial meeting, was this highly successful, confident young man seeking my help?

Without my having to ask, Chaim answered my unspoken question.

“Basically, my wife and I have a pretty good marriage,” he assured me. “And we both care a lot for each other. But the real sticking point in our relationship is that my wife seems incapable of giving compliments.”

Chaim went on to explain that his wife “comes from a home where compliments were never heard. Both of her parents demonstrated their approval just by not criticizing. To be fair, therefore, I understand why this is challenging for her.