A Feeling I Have

Talking about feelings is bound to trigger storms.

Like a wild playground swing, social trends often pitch to opposite extremes before righting themselves on middle ground. The complaints that old-school education forced people to suppress what was going on inside them has generated a strong counterforce, with the deification of all things felt.

There is a balanced, Torah-based center of acknowledging and working through feelings, including inappropriate ones, while simultaneously differentiating between right and wrong. Below are thoughts from one reader that echo what I’ve heard from others, followed by my perspective on these concerns.

You Can Stand Upright

I read the recent column “Screen It,” and would like to comment on the following line: “Saying that all feelings are telling you something, or should be processed, is fine, whereas saying that all feelings are okay is not.”

If you say that feelings should be processed, then I believe it’s valid to state that all feelings are okay. The former shouldn’t be stated if the latter seems to be incorrect.

Regardless, how can you say that all feelings aren’t okay? To deny validity of feelings (even painful ones) is to deny our humanity. Hashem created us to feel!

Much of middos work is predicated on the truth that we’re capable of reworking ourselves internally.