Dear Therapist
Happy third anniversary to us! Yup I said happy! Can you believe I’m actually saying the “H” word?
If you’d have told me three years ago that I’d still be seeing you weekly three years down the line I’d have scampered for the door faster than you could say “Wait!” But if I’d have known how I’d feel three years down the line I’d have planted myself in your office armchair never wanting to leave. Actually that’s not entirely true — three years ago I couldn’t imagine happiness or envision how much I could change. Like you told me early on I didn’t know how amazing life is supposed to feel! How amazing love can feel.
I looked at you like you were crazy. I have several kids — what do you mean I don’t know what love means?! The possible insinuation was left unspoken the truth too ugly to be verbalized. Now I know what you meant. I’ve felt a glimmer and I want more. So much more. I want to reach for the stars and I know I can. With time. With you cheering me on.
I’m the dreaded client. The client with borderline personality disorder no one wants to take on. The one that drains you. But you never faltered in your belief of me. I wrung you dry was obstinate and mean disrespectful and needy yet you still held on tight. I’m sure there were many times you wanted to throw in the towel. But you didn’t. That fierce loyalty and love more than anything was the mainstay of my rebirth.
