Wife to husband: You were behaving like a child! Stamping your foot yelling calling names… How do you expect the children to respect you? The grill wasn’t working — big deal! There are much more serious problems in life than that!
Husband to wife: Yes and that’s exactly the point. You saw that I’d lost it but instead of helping me you started lecturing me right then…that’s the last thing I needed at that time. Why couldn’t you just reach out to me and show me some love and understanding? Obviously I was falling completely apart but you were pouring oil on the fire. I needed you to help me recover and you just became another nagging parent.
Wife: You needed me? That was not obvious!
Needing Love
When our loved ones are in a bad mood or even worse — a terrible mood — it isn’t obvious that they need help. Instead their off-putting behavior puts us off and we run in the other direction. Our hearts aren’t aroused to empathy and our thoughts aren’t compassionate. We pity ourselves for having to live with a spouse or child who decompensates under stress.
