Depression in the Family

“Too many times I’ve seen children who have suffered for years living with a depressed parent ignorant of what was going on confused and frightened ” says London-based psychotherapist Rabbi Yaakov Barr MSc PGDip who specializes in treating severe depression

“My husband Moish* is one of those people who’s laidback happy positive really in touch with himself ” says Shoshana an upbeat mother of five. “He and depression wouldn’t even be in the same dictionary.”

But after the birth of their fifth child Shoshana experienced a major medical trauma that landed her in the hospital for several months leaving Moish home with a newborn and four other children to care for. With his wife’s future uncertain Moish tried valiantly to hold down the fort but he wasn’t eating or sleeping well and was crying a lot. At a family member’s insistence he consulted with a psychologist who diagnosed him with major depression resulting from the stress of their medical crisis.

“At first he was surprised” Shoshana says. “It was the farthest thing from his mind that he could be depressed. Once I got home from the hospital he just crumbled. I was so grateful to be alive and he was crashing retreating. He could barely manage his daily routine. Even though I was still healing physically I felt our kids needed at least one functional parent. I had no choice but to step up to the plate and take care of the kids and our home.”