Cornerstones of Growth

After her shocking petirah in the 2001 Sbarro terror attack, I learned something I had never known about my dear friend Shoshana (Hayman) Greenbaum Hy”d. I learned, from my sister with whom Shoshana had shared this idea, that Shoshana came into Rosh Hashanah each year like a humble employee coming to her end-of-the-year review. She came prepared to prove her worth, to request another year, and defend her position when challenged as to why she deserved to be granted a renewal contract.

It was Shoshana’s teacher, Rebbetzin Judy Young a”h, who taught her this amazing concept, predicated on the idea that nisyonos are given to build us, to foster growth, to bring us to a higher level of avodas Hashem.

Dovid HaMelech writes, “Even ma’asu habonim haysah l’rosh pinah, — the stone the builders despised became the cornerstone.” Instead of kicking it away, that stone of challenge is used to create and build. It becomes the very foundation. Shoshana explained how Rebbetzin Young urged her students to focus on this and try to see how they could grow from and through their challenges.

And Shoshana did. Every Elul, she took a piece of paper and folded it down the middle. Across the top she’d write the words, “Even ma’asu habonim haysah l’rosh pinah.” In the first column, she would list various nisyonos — difficulties and challenges big and small — that she’d encountered over the course of the year: shidduchim; a challenging student or difficult parent of a student; a struggle with a coworker; an unresolved dilemma; any snag she felt she’d hit.