Q

I was raised by parents who were emotionally neglectful. My father, while physically around, was never involved in my life. My mother was somewhat more involved, but we never connected, and I never felt safe with her or anyone else in my home — or in life for that matter. I had many insecurities growing up, and I never felt good enough.

Baruch Hashem, I’m working on myself, with the support of a therapist, and have reached a good place. However, it’s a slow, painful, difficult process. Did I mention slow?

Despite what I’ve achieved through therapy, I’m still scared for the future. Now I’m in my twenties, and I’m still single. As life progresses, I’m scared of replaying the unresolved issues I have from the past. My question is, can I ever get to a point where life is just easy, when I don’t have to struggle? I always struggled and never had childhood innocence. Does it ever get easier? Can I ever experience happiness, loving relationships, or am I doomed to a life of difficult relationships due to my past?

A

I’ve got good news for you: Life can get better and better, every day. We’re here to learn, and as we learn, we become happier, more successful, healthier, and stronger in every way. There are those who seem defeated by life, stuck, miserable and bitter. If we’re not striving to improve, it’s true we may end up in a bad way. But it’s not life events that break our spirit; it’s our reaction to them that causes our growth or our downfall.