It’s time to make sense of a single’s expenses
Do the math. The number of times you can wear a pair of stockings before a run snakes sneakily down your calf (be forewarned: this usually happens on a date) multiplied by the days of the week equals a whole lot of pairs of stockings.
When I went to the store right after Purim, I expected that $80 or so would buy me around 20 pairs, enough to tide me over through at least the week of Pesach and hopefully a couple weeks after. I left the store with a receipt for $100.97, 18 pairs of stockings, and a prayer on my lips that they last me at least half the season.
My friends are getting engaged and married at an increasingly high speed, which necessitates frequent trips to the dollar store. (For the uninitiated, it’s customary to decorate engaged friends’ rooms as soon as the news is official; fortunately for me, my friends are thrilled with dollar-store decorations.) Absurdly enough, though, dollar-store items are no longer a dollar. At $1.25 apiece and five cents a bag, the bill racks up faster than you can blink.
AKA chocolate. It’s an absolute must after a confusing date, a bad date, or a very bad date. Also after a date you thought went well, but the boy said no. It’s also necessary after three months with no dates, the engagement of a close friend, and every single meeting with a shadchan. So yeah, the chocolate bar bill adds up pretty fast.
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