What to do when spouses live out of tandem
H usbands and wives share a mission and a life working together side by side to achieve their mutual goals. Or so one would think.
“My husband has a lot more freedom than I do. He just assumes that I’ll stay home every night looking after the kids while he does whatever he has to do. He goes to meet clients for dinner goes to the gym to exercise stays late to finish work at the office and of course learns and davens.
“Whenever he explains to me why he can’t be home till late it makes sense but what doesn’t make sense is how I ended up being single-handedly responsible for the kids 24 hours a day! Why does my husband have a built-in babysitter but if I want to go out I have to hire and pay someone? Why does he get to announce ‘I won’t be home till 11 tonight ’ but if I need him to look after the kids so I can go out to a shiur one evening I need to make elaborate arrangements a week in advance?”
Why indeed?
Divergent Paths
Couples don’t always start off living separate lifestyles. Very often though the birth of the first baby brings a woman home. Even if she continues to work or study part- or full-time she tends to want to spend as much time as possible with her infant. She’s also more likely to be physically exhausted and less inclined to do more activities out of the house especially at the end of the day.
