“If anything is known to you and is so bothersome that it must be changed, this should be discussed before marriage”
In the article in which women shared stories of decisions they had to make while dating, Ariella from Manhattan discussed marrying a man whose appearance she didn’t like — she mentions his mismatched clothing and overgrown beard and clothing.
Right after they got married, she “asked” her husband to change his appearance, and when he didn’t she sent him to three rabbis, who agreed with her. She also now chooses all his clothing.
As presented, this is an example of a terrible approach to dating/marriage, and middos that are not very good. If anything is known to you and is so bothersome that it must be changed, this should be discussed before marriage. You don’t wait until afterward, and then demand (sending a brand-new husband to three rabbis is not asking) that he change.
I suspect that the rabbis he asked didn’t necessarily agree with his wife, but given the choice between making these changes or dealing with an upset wife all the time, advised him to make the wise choice. I wonder if he would have asked before marriage, what the answer would have been. This is probably why she waited until after marriage to make these demands.
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