“You cannot shove your growth and your chumras down other people’s throats. Make sure that your chumras affect only you”
In his Q & A column, Rabbi Greenwald touches on the topic of entitlement and whether a mother, who is already working more than 30 hours a week while running a busy household, should take on even more just so her daughter can go to an expensive traveling camp.
He suggests that the parents teach her responsibility by telling her that they will pay for half of the expenses but she must raise the other half. This sounds like the way to raise children who can make mature, responsible decisions when they become adults.
I was quite dismayed, however, with his first suggestion of how the teenager could raise money: by asking her grandparents. It is not fair to grandparents to put them on the spot like that. It can leave the grandparent and the grandchild both feeling hurt.
If the parents feel that their parents might be able and willing to help fund such a request, they should ask their parents first. If the grandparents say they are okay with the idea, then the grandchild can ask directly.
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