There may be comfort in knowing that rarely does someone live in a permanent state of limbo
Being in limbo is a painful state. Usually this is the place where we wait, patiently or impatiently, with hope and fear tucked into the inner recesses of our hearts. We can find ourselves in this in-between place at different times in our lives.
Experiencing a state of limbo in marriage can be exceedingly difficult. This can be due to a lack of clarity about the status of marriage (separation? divorce? try to work on things?) or Rachmana litzlan when one spouse gets sick and the dynamic changes completely.
When someone is sick, often the community knows about it and may rally in support — at least in the form of material or physical help. There is likely compassion, understanding, and concern for the ill spouse, and fear about what will be. Still, no matter how much external help may be offered, this change of dynamic, coupled with fear, confusion, and the bulk of decision-making/child care falling on the healthy spouse, creates a painful limbo state.
“I would wake up in the morning, and for two seconds, I forgot. I thought everything was normal, and then I remembered, this is my new life.” It takes time to integrate new experiences, find different rhythms, and seek out what feels supportive in the new normal.
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