As time went on, I realized that a “top girl” doesn’t necessarily have the right qualities to support and encourage a “top boy” in his chosen path
To some readers, this might sound like the start of a fairytale. Or maybe a handbook to healthy parenting. Isn’t it wonderful to know that your parents consider you exceptional?
The slight issue is that this belief comes with a corollary: that your job is to spend your entire life proving them right.
Every report card, every school performance, every graduation, every application to school, yeshivah, or seminary carried extra weight. Would our family be able to boast another valedictorian? Would another child take center stage with confidence and grace? Would another son soon be packing for Brisk, another daughter for BJJ?
Most of the time we satisfied expectations, proving our worth and cementing our reputations. Our parents sought suitably exceptional spouses for us, confident that we’d move forward on the trajectory of exceptionalism and make them proud.
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