It’s totally your fault, and if you don’t do something about it right now….
1. You wore glasses to work. This is a capital felony, says the lady at shul who thinks her advice is indispensable, an absolute guarantee that you won’t be redt shidduchim. Yes, your friend wore glasses to her own wedding, but it doesn’t make a difference. A single girl must never be seen in glasses. Even the yeshivish boys care, apparently. Lenses bother your eyes? You have an eye infection? Well, beauty hurts, my friend. Especially if you are single.
2. You wore your hair in a pony. Now, this is arguably even worse than wearing glasses to work. Wearing your hair in a pony shows that you don’t care about how you look. And the logical conclusion is that you probably don’t care about anything else. And if you also left the house without makeup?! To go to the grocery store?! On Erev Shabbos?! Forget about being redt a shidduch ever again.
3. You went to college. There’s no reason why a good Bais Yaakov girl like yourself had to go to college. Absolutely no reason. A Jewish girl belongs in a heimish environment. Bais Yaakov teachers make the best wives and mothers. A girl who went through the college system, even a frum one, is simply not on the same level as when she went in. Oh, you wanted to support your husband in kollel? What about all the college graduates with fancy degrees who are out of a job? Huh?
4. You didn’t go to college. How do you expect to support your husband in kollel? Your parents aren’t going to be able to support you forever. So what if school isn’t your thing? Sitting in class for another four years (or even a year and a half if you do an abridged program) is too tedious for you? No problem. But just don’t expect the boys’ mothers to say yes. With a three-foot stack of résumés to choose from, why should the mother pick you?
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