“...It isn’t easy to step aside and let our husband lead, this doesn’t mean it’s a value to let go of”
Your back page poll presented an intriguing dilemma: If there’s a parent who constantly blocks the other cars during the harried hours of playgroup pickup, do you approach them to “lay down the law,” or instead “silently fume but never say anything”?
As I was reading this scenario, I was thinking how I’d never go over to the other parent to tell them their parking is inconsiderate. I’m not a confrontational person and would feel so uncomfortable doing so. I associate that sort of behavior with people who are super assertive, maybe even aggressive. I’m the sort of person who’s not going to make a fuss to make my own life easier, even when the other person is clearly being inconsiderate or in the wrong, I’ll just give in and let them do it their way.
But reading the other option — “silently fume” — had me thinking. Spending the year inwardly seething and making judgments about the other person (e.g., labeling them “inconsiderate”) isn’t exactly a prime example of good middos. Is being nonconfrontational really “giving in,” or is it just a cowardly way of avoiding discomfort? Speaking to the other parent might be awkward, and it would be really tough for me, but would probably result in better feelings all around.
Name Withheld
I laughed out loud when I read the shidduchim piece; it was really hilarious. It was poking fun at our community’s idiosyncrasies, and yes, our obsession with what other people think of us when it comes to shidduchim is absurd and really flies in the face of the idea that HaKadosh Baruch Hu is mezaveg zivugim. One thing my many years as a single taught me is that nothing, not even your own stupidity, will prevent Hashem’s plan for you from going ahead. So put on that hoodie and long skirt and go take out the garbage. And stop in at the supermarket while you’re at it.
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