“It’s an open secret that most schools compensate their rebbeim better than their morahs”
As a veteran morah, I was frustrated by the responses to your question about cash gifts to rebbeim versus morahs. It’s clear that we’re still in a place where most people stick to the “status quo” of giving the rebbeim more. But why is that even the status quo to begin with?
It’s an open secret that most schools compensate their rebbeim better than their morahs, but it pains me to hear that the same sentiment exists among parents as well. As a mother of mostly boys, I value their beloved rebbeim just as much as anyone. But I have to believe that the balls I juggle as a morah, wife, and mother exceed those of a rebbi who, generally speaking, isn’t dealing with the same number of responsibilities.
Every lesson I deliver is prepared with a baby on my lap, a child at my skirt. I plan lessons for school in between planning menus for Shabbos. After each birth, before fully recovering, I push my tired body back to the classroom (because there’s no paid maternity leave) and then back home to the wonderful chaos of caring for my children. At night when my baby is finally sleeping and I’m bone tired, I pick up a Navi to prepare the next perek. I’ve taught with the flu and strep because I use my own sick days for when my kids get sick. I confer with parents while driving or rushing through the grocery aisles, and grade tests in the orthodontist’s waiting room.
While most of these challenges are not unique to me as a morah, they are part of the reality of us working wives and mothers, and are challenges that most rebbeim don’t face to the same extent. I love the holy work that I do, but I’m confused about why parents demonstratively value their sons’ rebbeim more than their daughters’ morahs. (And then we wonder what to do about the teacher shortage!)
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