WHAT TO TELL MY KIDS WHEN THEY WIND UP WITH ONE OF “THOSE” TEACHERS?

The Question

My kids are in a small school where most teachers have a reputation — for good or for bad. Most teachers are known to be excellent, but some are known to be very strict or very old-school, or to give a lot of homework. When my children come home upset that they have one of those teachers, how should I react — especially if I share the concern?

Rabbi Ari Schonfeld

Just because a rebbi didn’t work for one child doesn’t mean it won’t work for another. Every year is different, and you might be surprised.

IN

our small (but baruch Hashem growing and thriving) yeshivah, I will sometimes get these kinds of phone calls from a parent. It’s especially common if they’ve already had this rebbi or teacher for one of their own children before. As incredible as our rebbeim and teachers are, there will invariably be situations in which, for whatever reason, it wasn’t a “k’nock” year. And now that boy’s brother is about to enter the same grade, the parents are concerned with history repeating itself.

Here is my advice to the parents.

Every single year is different, and so is every child. With my own children, there was a year that my wife and I were so convinced that the rebbi was a “bad shidduch” for our son that we begged the school to switch classes. My son’s principal, who is a wise and caring mechanech, told us to trust him, and that he thought things would work out great between the two of them.

It was our son’s best year in school. Don’t assume anything, and definitely don’t feed into your child’s impression. Don’t accept the narrative of, “But everyone knows he’s a mean rebbi — he doesn’t even have a prize store!”

Foster a new, positive impression in your son’s mind. “He doesn’t have a prize store because he doesn’t treat you like little kids anymore, but the trip at the end of the year is incredible.”