Strategies for intentional living from experts who get it
Succos is meant to be a time of joy. Not only do we want to be happy, we’re actually commanded to be.
We know all about the mitzvah. We know it’s supposed to be within our grasp, yet for some, happiness feels elusive. That gap between “I should be happy” and “I’m not” often brings guilt or self-blame. What’s wrong with me? Why can’t I feel it? Those thoughts only deepen the heaviness, adding anxiety and pulling us further from the very joy we’re trying to reach.
For some, the barrier is simply a matter of focus. We get caught up in problems, worries, or irritations, and forget to notice what’s good. But for many, there’s something deeper at play — something that can’t be resolved by simply “looking on the bright side” or “having hakaras hatov.”
That deeper issue often comes from the past. When joy didn’t feel safe growing up, the mind and body adapt by guarding against it. Maybe you lived in a home shadowed by mental illness, chronic illness, or instability. Perhaps a parent or grandparent was highly critical, and moments of happiness were quickly met with disapproval. In some families, joy was seen as frivolous, and even lightheartedness might have been frowned upon — a contradiction to being serious, responsible, or G-d-fearing.
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