Three doses of inspiration to lift the spirit and soul
When we think of “good middos,” many familiar ones come to mind: simchah, anavah, emes, sameach b’chelko. A lesser-known and less-often discussed middah is hishtavus — from the root shaveh, meaning “equal.”
Hishtavus refers to a state of equanimity, the ability to maintain an inner sense of equilibrium. The Chovos HaLevavos (Shaar Yichud Hamaaseh ch. 5) illustrates this with an anecdote: one chassid asks another, “Have you achieved hishtavus? Are criticism and praise the same to you?”
Naturally, we tend to feel elevated by compliments and deflated by critique. But the Chovos HaLevavos teaches that it’s possible to reach a level where both positive and negative feedback are “equal” to us, meaning, they don’t move us in any significant way. This is the litmus test of hishtavus.
True hishtavus comes from deep self-awareness. When a person genuinely knows both his strengths and his weaknesses, praise doesn’t reveal anything new, and misplaced praise is meaningless. In the same vein, when criticism is untrue, it doesn’t register because he knows it is false. Even when criticism is accurate, it may be uncomfortable, but it’s not distressing; it’s simply a reminder of something we know we can work on.
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