Are we relaying the wrong messages about marriage?
“Marriage is hard work.”
“Marriage takes sacrifice.”
“You have the ability to change what’s problematic in your marriage (or spouse) through the power of your interactions.”
These are just some of the most common messages we give our children in an effort to prepare them for building a solid, healthy relationship in their marriage. These statements each contain a helpful truth for creating a fulfilling marriage. But the way these messages are being delivered can result in real damage.
Think of it this way: How likely is it that you would send a signed blank check with your child to a busy school office, hoping it reaches the right person and trusting that someone will fill it out correctly? Would you be comfortable assuming it will be filled in with the name of the right recipient and the right amount? Most likely, you wouldn’t. You’d want to make sure that all of those particulars are carefully filled in before sending that check out.
Yet for some reason, people are fine with handing out blank‑check messages about marriage. These statements are meant to inspire and prepare, but without nuance, detail, or balance, they can become confusing or harmful in certain situations.
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