For decades, Leah Reitman wondered why she was so different from others, why she could never blend into a crowd. At the age of 45, she was diagnosed with autism spectrum disorder and for the first time, she was able to piece together the puzzle of her past.
“I always felt that I was outside of my body and wondered why I had to carry it around” she begins. Though German is her mother tongue Leah Reitman speaks English well. Her dark eyes framed by stylish gold glasses flicker across my garden in Beit Shemesh. She settles into a chair under a canopy of bougainvillea and fruit trees and starts telling me her story candidly and unreservedly drawing me into the world of someone with autism spectrum disorder (ASD).
Until her diagnosis at the age of 45 Leah didn’t understand why she was so different from other people why she could never blend into a crowd. She was hypersensitive to the most basic things — water clothing shoes jewelry. Loud noises sounded like hammer blows in her ear. If she detected the slightest side taste of something in a food it would become instantly repugnant to her.
For Leah having a simple conversation required rapt attention and concentration. If she missed a letter or word which happened often it could change the entire meaning of the sentence leaving her unable to appropriately respond. “I used to talk a lot — I was trying to make people react so that I’d understand them ” she remarks. “People often say that autistic people are expressionless; that’s because we’re concentrating so hard on what’s happening around us that we don’t have the time for facial reactions.”
As Leah recounts her life story she carefully signposts where her disability affected her actions and continues to impact her life today creating a gaping chasm between her experiences and those of others. When traumatic memories surface Leah remains fully composed: “Talking about my past isn’t painful for me. It’s history. I’m proud I survived.”
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