It sounds like you would thrive on some banter and verbal give-and-take
I’m dating a really nice girl now. Really nice. And that’s part of the problem. She’s very sweet and easygoing. In fact, she never disagrees with me. She’s extremely attentive and very interested whenever I speak. I know everyone is all into the men being the “mashpia” and women being the “mekabel” and I’m fine with that, but something is missing here. I feel like this girl is looking to me to be everything.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m happy to plan the dates and to lead the conversation and even open the occasional door. But I need a partner. I don’t want a “yes man”; I want someone I can interact with. I need some stimulation and a little challenge.
People tell me I’m crazy and that I should be happy she has such good middos and seems to look up to me. But something about this feels off. I don’t know if she’s afraid to be herself. Or, worse, maybe this is herself and there’s not much there. I’m a confident guy — I can’t handle someone needy. Am I just making trouble for no reason?
Unsure
Look at you, listening to your inner voice and everything. I’d like to commend you for paying attention to the cues you feel, even if you can’t articulate exactly what about them bothers you. And let me piggyback on your comments to once again reinforce the notion that HaKadosh Baruch Hu gives us feelings for a reason. If you feel it, there must be a reason. As I like to say, “Where there’s smoke, there’s smoke.”
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