There’s no one more uniquely qualified to answer these questions than those who dated for years before they met their bashert
Settle, or wait for Mr. Perfect? There’s no one more uniquely qualified to answer that question than those who dated for years before they met their bashert. They all grappled: Should I revise what I’m looking for? Am I being too picky? How can I get past what other people think so I can make the best decision for me? Now happily married, these women reflect on their experiences, and offer insight and advice to those still in the dating arena
Dated 13 years, married at 32
You can build a life with anyone.
That’s what I thought when I started dating at 19. I’d known someone who married at 25; it seemed the end of the world. I was adamant I wasn’t going to end up older and single. So, I was open to anything, having just two and a half criteria when I started dating. I still ended up older and single.
In hindsight, I thank Hashem that my openness didn’t sabotage me. Ironically, the longer I dated, the more I realized I had to have some standards: He had to be kind and menschlich and he had to be inherently frum.
When I was dating, people would tell me they had married someone very different from their original picture, saying, “You can’t be picky, you can’t be so particular.” Was it too much to ask for someone nice? People would go on about how nice a boy was, I’d go out, and someone very different showed up. That’s why there are so many bad date stories.
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