KIDS Issue 935 · November 9, 2022

Against the Stream  

Three women share the unconventional parenting approach that fits their family

Against the Stream  

A Gentle Touch

Blimie Heller, Toms River

 

What I do

I don’t really like labels for the way I parent, but some people would call it gentle parenting or respectful parenting. I give parenting classes on the ideas I’ve developed through my research, but I don’t call it a method; it’s more of a consciousness. I always tell parents, “Only take what resonates with you.”

 

Why I do it

I remember feeling oppressed by rules as a kid and wondering if it really has to be this way. I didn’t always think it was fair when I was punished.

But then I had my first child, and I didn’t know how to deal with her “disobedience.” (I put this in quotes because I no longer think in these terms when it comes to my children. I prefer to think in terms of what gives me the sense that my children and I are on the same team — that they are not against me.) When my daughter was four years old, she had a very strong personality, and I didn’t know how to deal with it. I was struggling, feeling a distance between us that I knew I didn’t want to be there.

I’ve always loved reading, and I got a ton of books on parenting. I’ve also taken lots of classes on attachment theory and the science of child development. One thing I knew going in was that I didn’t want anything about behaviorism — that’s how we train animals. I wanted something different.

Continue reading with Mishpacha.

Create a free account to keep reading.

Everything you need to stay close to Mishpacha.
← Previous installment Step by Step Next installment → Out of This World