Boundaries

The concept of boundaries is inborn. Even tiny toddlers fiercely protect their boundaries, declaring a toy “mine” and refusing to share. This doesn’t stop them, however, from overstepping other people’s boundaries; indeed, they happily grab what they want from others. The need to restrain that impulse — to learn to ask before taking — is one of the skills they will need to master in order to have good social relationships in the future.

Says one mother, “My two-year-old helps herself to food from other people’s plates. It’s gotten so bad that the older kids take themselves and their plates to another room so they can eat in peace.”

It’s possible that everyone laughed the first time this child helped herself to Mom’s potato, emboldening the little one to repeat the act at subsequent mealtimes. In fact, it’s possible they all thought it was quite cute for quite a while, their amusement encouraging the awful habit that was developing. Attention does that. Eventually, however, no one liked the end product: a child who couldn’t keep her hands off others’ plates.

People like to eat their own food from their own plate because there’s a concept of “mine” that runs deep. It’s time to let the toddler know in no uncertain terms that she can no longer take other people’s food.