Hearing the Word “No” Isn’t a Catastrophe
Kayla is crying her little heart out. “I want it!” she chokes out between her heavy sobs. “He had it already,” she explains desperately to Mom.
Kayla’s brother Daniel is soaking it up, playing with the yo-yo with renewed vigor, celebrating the fact that he has it and his sister doesn’t! Mom sees Kayla’s anguish. She wants to save her little girl from childhood trauma. She tells Daniel, “You’ve been playing with it for ten minutes already. You need to give Kayla a turn. I’m going to count to 20 and then you have to hand it over to her.”
We won’t discuss what happens next, except to say that it isn’t pretty.
Before we go further, I just want you to pause for a moment: How old are the children in the above scenario? What if Kayla is two years old? Would you insist that her brother give her the toy so she’ll stop crying? Would it make a difference if she is six or eight or ten years old? If so, how? What if Daniel is just four? Or what if he is 12 or older?
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