Dial Down Anxiety

Chumi was frustrated. Her five-year-old, Shuey, had developed a fear of going to school on the bus. Always an anxious child, Shuey had been the kid who clung to her skirt when she tried to leave him in play group and gave up his security blanket reluctantly. Now, no matter what she did, she couldn’t convince Shuey to get on the bus.

“I end up driving him to school, but it takes me out of my way, and I get to work late,” she complains.

Many parents have to deal with children who develop fears, real or imagined. They may refuse to sleep alone at night, avoid parties because they fear being ignored or rejected, refuse to go outside because a dog might bite them. They cling, cry, or throw tantrums easily, develop stomachaches or headaches, and sleep poorly. They may even have anxiety attacks, characterized by heart palpitations, rapid breathing, sweating, tense muscles, nausea, and dread.

“Anxiety by itself isn’t always bad,” says Leah Haber, a therapist who works with young people in Jerusalem. “It pushes us to accomplish things — meet a deadline, make Pesach. It keeps us safe by signaling danger, so we take the right action. But not all danger is real.”