“When people heal from developmental trauma, they stop the progression down the generations, and are able to validate and be present with their children”
I work as a senior midwife in a busy Yerushalayim delivery room, so the Words Unspoken letter about doulas hit close to home. The letter was written by a woman who felt that her doula had taught her that the kind of birth she had was fully in her control, and she was unprepared and devastated when things didn’t work out that way.
Let me preface by saying that I absolutely love my job, and most doulas I have worked with have been fantastic. The line I found most troubling in the letter was, “Please, you have so much power!”
Therein lies the core of the problem. No pregnant woman should be giving any one individual so much power, be it the doula, the doctor, the midwife, the mother, or a friend. I have had countless laboring women in the midst of contemplating taking an epidural ask me if I took one, or if they should take one. I always answer that my labors have nothing to do with their labors, and then I explain the pros and cons of the epidural, and leave the decision in their hands.
A woman has (usually) nine months to prepare for her birth. She should use that time to do research regarding her birth options, including where to give birth, with whom, pain relief methods, and what policies exist in different birth settings, among other things.
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