“Chaim V’Chessed, a nonprofit in Jerusalem that helps English speakers navigate the oftentimes confusing bureaucracy in Israel”
Dear Woman in the Corner,
Thank you for writing this letter, validating my experience, and quieting the incessant guilt I have since I’ve had children baruch Hashem.
I’m not the woman you wrote the letter to; I’m one of the other young mothers in your shul, the one who times herself to get there for shofar, but not a minute earlier, and leaves as soon as it’s over, even if the kids are calm and it really, really looks like I can “chap arein” a Shemoneh Esreh.
I do that because I know that it could be a matter of seconds between “all the kids are calm” to a noisy meltdown that will tip the whole balance, as you so aptly described.
But still… every year as I hurry out as soon as the tekios are over, I’m consumed with guilt. After a decade spending Yamim Noraim inside shul from beginning to end, first as a restless preteen, counting the pages and watching the clock tick… and slowly, growing into a teen and adult, who looked forward to and savored the experience… it’s really hard to be firmly shut out on the other side of the door, heading home or to the park while the shul is aflame with tefillah.
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