“Someone who is 5'3" and 160 pounds doesn’t look obese or even extremely overweight in normal reality”
When I do write in to Family First, more often than not it’s with positive feedback. However, reading “The Next Stage,” in which Shaindy Fried discussed her struggle being 5’3″ and 160 pounds, left me — quite frankly — appalled.
There is certainly an unhealthy fixation on weight in our society that has filtered in from the secular world. And without a doubt, I sympathize very much with Shaindy, who was brave enough to publish the degrading experiences and comments that she has had to endure. But as another single woman who is approximately the same age, height, and weight as Shaindy and has never experienced any such responses, I was disturbed to see that this article seemed to be implying that a woman who is 160 pounds — only 20 pounds above a healthy BMI for Shaindy’s 5’3″ — is overweight enough that her shidduchim and life may be impacted to the degree described by Shaindy.
Someone who is 5’3″ and 160 pounds doesn’t look obese or even extremely overweight in normal reality. Shaindy is simply someone who isn’t slim. I know many wonderful young women who were 10, 20, 30, or more pounds overweight and found their zivug quickly. Shaindy’s experiences in shidduchim and with society at large aren’t the norm, and Family First could have published this article — which does have real value in other aspects of its content — without mentioning Shaindy’s actual body measurements, which sent a quiet message of, “Unless you’re truly thin, you might go through quite a bit of misery.”
As stated earlier in this letter, I, too, am single; I, too, am around Shaindy’s age; and I, too, could stand to lose 20 pounds or so. But I have dated quite a bit — mostly thin guys, incidentally — and I’m usually the one who ends up saying no, not them.
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