So you didn’t go to Florida. That’s okay, but when your children come asking, what do you tell them?
A. Florida? Paph! That’s so 2021. Where have you been for the last year, Earth? Don’t you know that space travel is all the rage now? I’m currently debating between Bezos’s Blue Origin and Branson’s Virgin Galactic. Who has time for petty things like Florida?
B. Florida? Didn’t you see those pictures of AOC partying maskless?! By now, Ilhan Omar and Rashida Tlaib are probably there as well. Oh, no. We’re staying home this year.
C. Florida? That Ron DeSantis is a dictator! He’s a conspiracy theorist! He wants his own military! He wants to secede from the Union! I wouldn’t dare show any support for a state led by such a governor.
D. The Truth. You know, the thing about having to work for a living and using the money earned for things that are very un-Floridian, like, say, mortgage payments.
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