Forgive Me

Rivka L.* called me before Rosh Hashanah.

Although she had lived in Eretz Yisrael for almost 15 years, she continued to call me occasionally. She stayed in touch when personal issues arose and felt my input would be helpful. Through phone calls and emails, I followed her life in Eretz Yisrael and was thrilled when she found her bashert and announced she was getting married.

So when Rivka called me before Rosh Hashanah, I knew something was causing her to lose sleep.

She explained that Leah, one of her single friends from high school, was struggling religiously. And she, Rivka, was struggling with how to relate to Leah and her religious instability. She wanted to be there for her friend, yet she didn’t want to condone her friend’s lack of observance.

During the discussion, it became clear that she felt she had hurt Leah’s feelings, which was the cause of her anguish. Rivka felt she came down too hard in rebuking Leah’s behavior, that she had been too judgmental and perhaps could have been more understanding and sympathetic without validating her friend’s lack of observance.