Even the happiest, most aligned couples experience anger and disappointment to some degree
When we’re engaged, we have many expectations and ideas of how our future marriages will look. Some of these dreams are rooted in preconceived notions of happy marriages — perhaps influenced by our own parents or mentors — and some are based on fantasies we developed after getting to know our future spouses.
It’s a blessing to get married young, yet considering our brains do not finish fully developing until the age of 25, it’s possible that the 19-year-old iterations of our identities are not fully formed. In addition, we all change as we go through different life stages, and mature into our adult selves. What happens when the goals you had for yourself change? How does that affect your spouse and the life path they were counting on?
It’s important to remember that disappointment in marriage is normal. Even the happiest, most aligned couples experience anger and disappointment to some degree.
Still, it can be challenging to deal with disappointment in our marriages. Some changes are more traumatic and shocking (discovering mental health illness or addiction), and some are more subtle (changing one’s mind about where to live), but all are difficult. How do we stay connected and supportive while dealing with our own disappointments?
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