Hard to Say No

“Yes” is the answer we want to give our children. We want to give it because we love our children. We want to give it because it feels good to see the smile on that youngster’s face. We want to give it because we hate what happens when we say “no.”

Says one mother: “My son needs things to go his way. When they don’t, he blows up. Sometimes I’m not in the mood to deal with that. I just give in to keep him quiet.”

Says another parent: “My daughter absolutely exhausts me. If she doesn’t like my answer when she asks permission for something, she argues with me. ‘But why not?’ she’ll start off with.

“When I give my answer, she’ll say, ‘But what if I do such and such?’ When I explain why that won’t address my concern, she’ll go into her victimized routine. ‘But I’ll be the only one in the class who isn’t going/doing whatever. I’ll be a freak.’ If I ignore that line (which I usually do), she’ll say something like, ‘I wish I was in a different family!’ At the end of it all, both she and I are in a miserable mood.”