He Leads Us to Safety

He Leads Us to Safety

Mrs. Shira Hochheimer sees Shlomo Hamelech’s timeless words as a guide to improving ourselves, which will in turn improve our relationship with our spouse and our children.

Shlomo Hamelech compares an eishes chayil to one thing — a merchant’s ship. Driving up I-95 from Baltimore to New York, I see those monstrosities off the side of the road, huge cranes next to them to load and unload the merchandise.

This simile must be teaching us something very important about the essence of what it means to be an eishes chayil.

A merchant’s ship transports merchandise from where it’s in great supply to places far away where they’re scarce, holding the cargo safe as it traverses the vast ocean, weathering storms along the way. This is what the eishes chayil does. When she sees that her husband or children are in need of something, she’ll go to the ends of the earth to locate it for them. There are many ways this plays out. Says the Malbim, when the budget doesn’t add up, the eishes chayil will do whatever she can to support her family. Says the Midrash Eliyahu, she does what she can to contribute to the household income, rather than causing her husband pain by putting all the responsibility on him. Other mefarshim explain that she will shop in markets further away to save a few precious dollars.

When I work to help my family, it takes me away from my family. My mother was a stay-at-home mom. Around eight years ago, she had a brain tumor, which impacted her ability to speak and move. I was visiting her a few years ago and expressed the guilt I feel juggling work with being a wife, mother, and daughter. She looked at me and said, “Hashem makes women need money so that they can become the people they wouldn’t become otherwise.”